Monday, March 3, 2008

Making sense of life = knowing you are blessed and highly favored

Lost, confused, depressed, alone, scared. Is that humanity's natural state?

What do we have to do to feel found, cherished, certain, joyful, and fearless?

I spent so many of my younger years feeling those lost feelings. Insecurity and anxiety were part of every day, pretty much. Some days more than others but a familiar battle. A good day was appreciated but it seemed that the bad days would come without warning and I felt powerless to overcome the bad feelings. Yet, my mask was pretty much intact. I coped okay. Not the best but okay.

Needless to say, my motivation consisted of repeatedly telling myself I could do it. No matter how tough it was, I continued to talk myself into moving forward. Sometimes I needed help and encouragement and those are the times when I was glad to have friends.

My anxiety level was consistently inconsistent, pretty high, but I coped with it pretty well. I suffered from several eating disorders between 17 and my mid 20s. It was one of the ways I tried to cope with my chronic anxiety. I started to get urinary tract infections chronically about that time as well. I took a job and worked hard to move forward, still feeling vulnerable and wounded. I was finally able to shake anorexia and bulemia when I married Henry, but I was still shaky inside. I still suffered with UTIs when the stress got too much.

These disorders are not unusual in our day and age. I was able to connect my disease with my anxiety and stress in my case, but maybe it's just my perception. But I have come to understand how much my internal anxiety and stress helped break down my body's defenses and create illness and disease.

When I gave my life to God, I believe a process of healing began. That began in 2000 and is still continuing, and probably will continue fo rthe rest of my life. I didn't want to make such a surrender, but it ended up happening. Slowly but surely, I lost levels of internal stress. I confessed to my sins and asked for forgiveness from God and from my family. As I faced my sins and trusted in God's love and Jesus' redemption, I was able to somehow heal. Over these 8 years, I trusted God and my confidence transferred from myself and my efforts, to God and his mercy and grace. Now I realize how blessed and highly favored I am. And that knowledge is crucial for my health and well-being. It's crucial to my being able to make sense of life.

It's hard to explain; I guess you had to be there.

For me, making sense of life is knowing that I am blessed and live by faith in the God of the Old Testament and His Son, Jesus Christ of the New Testament. And my faith is not a destination as much as it is a journey, a walk that allows me to take fresh steps every day. I learned that a "quiet time" is really a meeting with the living Christ, consisting of prayer and Bible reading. I learned to read, reflect and meditate on God's Word. I learned to try to apply what God has taught me from the Bible reading to the circumstances of my life - situations at work, home school, or church. I learned to use what I learned from His word in order to become more like Jesus. That's the fresh steps every day part. And that's the hard part. I don't have to do all that to be saved. But I think I have to do it to be healed and whole, to allow my heart to be opened and transformed. I learned to focus on expressing my love and devotion to Him, just presenting a long list of wants and needs. I realized that God knows what I need anyway, so I don't have to remind Him of that. Of course, I want to bring my needs to Him, but the main focus of the "meeting" is to offer my gratitude and praise, and then seek His guidance and revelation.

Today, it seems to me that family is a large part of the answer. Being part of a loving family makes it easier to believe in a loving God. Having someone who cherishes and cares for the family . . . that's pretty important. Even getting a hot meal can sometimes be an act of cherishing and encouragement. Providing an example of fearlessness, faith, certainty and joy, that's an act of love. It's an act of healing. It's an act of creating order in a senseless world.

Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking with it. Knowing that one is truly blessed and highly favored is what enables one to make sense of a senseless world.

From a great website:
How to Know God, from Gospelcom.net

III. What Are We Like?

We generally think of ourselves as basically good. And it's true that God's image is built into us. But there is another side.

People are rebellious. We have rejected God's authority over us in this world. People are self-centered. We are mainly concerned with our own comfort and security, putting our own selfish ambitions first.

People are often unconcerned. We usually don't worry about our broken relationship with God. But we were made to have a living relationship with him.

People are still accountable. Because he is concerned for justice, God can't let us go unpunished. The penalty is permanent separation from God (Romans 6.23). This is a death sentence that rests on all people.

People are deceived. Having rejected God's authority and friendship, we look for substitutes. Instead of putting God at the top of our priorities, we fill our lives with getting things or getting by, concern for security or power, maybe even drugs or the occult. Such substitutes don't finally satisfy. They can't replace God and knowing him.

People are proud. Some of us think so highly of our own achievements that we decide that God doesn't matter. Others think that living a good life will make them acceptable to God. But we must face the fact that rebels are rebels, no matter how decent they seem! To receive God's forgiveness we must change our whole attitude to him and recognize his right to rule us.


Lord, thank You for the peace that only You give in this troubled world. Help me to bring the Good News to those who are suffering anxiety and fear. May they find Your peace.

How do I get the best out of life?

Jeremiah 29:8-14
8 Yes, this is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: "Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. 9 They are prophesying lies to you in my name. I have not sent them," declares the LORD. 10 This is what the LORD says: "When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity [ or will restore your fortunes ]. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."


I'm probably way off base by trying to deflect the question I posed in my title. It's tricky because I'm basically saying it's the wrong question. A better question is Can God get glory from my life?

The passage in Jeremiah is a reminder and an example for us. Jeremiah was speaking to the Israelites, who were in captivity and falling back into idolatry and sin, to the point where God turned them over to their enemies. Did they feel like failures? Probably. But God wanted them to learn to turn to Him and trust in Him, and unfortunately the way they were being taught this lesson was through captivity and pain. So, why would God allow this if he had plans for their good? Let's see if I understand correctly.

Often we ask the question, How can I get out of this situation? or How do I get the best out of life? But it seems to me that God wants us to trust in Him and turn to Him. He wants us living a life that honors and gives Him glory and turn away from idolatry and sin. So, is it possible that He allowed the Israelites to go through hardship in order to chasten them and teach them a lesson? Is it that simple? Did He plan for them to come through this experience changed and more honorable people? I think that is the correct understanding. God humbles the proud and this is spoken of often throughout the Bible.
Proverbs 18:12 Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor.


Perhaps this is not something I want to hear and I just ignore God's word. Several examples exist in the Bible of sin and idolatry followed by captivity and hardship but I can ignore that because Jesus died for all my sins and I should not have to endure hardship. ?? Is this true? I don't think we can safely ignore all these examples because

1 Corinthians 10:11-13 11These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages has come. 12So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! 13No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.


I'm not saying we should strive to be perfect, but I do believe we should strive to do God's will. How do we deal with failure or setbacks when we know in our heart that we are right? Search our hearts and try to get right with God. Take every opportunity to be a person of integrity and come through the difficulties as a person of character.

Prayer: God please give me a humble and obedient heart when enduring trials that seem to be breaking me down. Help me to see that all circumstances are part of your promise to prosper me and help me become the woman you want me to be.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Life Without Regrets . . . I don't think so

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the
people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who
don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you
get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it
changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy,
they just promised it would be worth it.


I got this in a forwarded email and I started to think of all the regrets I have and how important those regrets were for me. I learned the most from the times my conscience pricked me and I realized I needed to change. Those were my greatest learnings and they were teh hardest, because it meant looking myself squarely in the character, and doing something uncomfortable and different.

I regret, for instance, not being able to get along with my previous husband. I could only see things from my own perspective and I regret that.

It seems more helpful to tell a young person, "You will make mistakes. And you will regret those mistakes. But learn the best you can from that error and keep going."

Humanity is flawed; no one is perfect. Should any leader live a "life without regrets?" Should George Bush, for instance? That's just an example.

It's crucial to realize that we all do the best we can at the time we have to make crucial decisions. Maybe there are some who want to do wrong to others for no reason; I'm assuming that kind of behavior is kept to a minimum. It takes a lot of humility to admit a mistake and it seems living a "life wthout regrets" gives us all a free pass to not admit that we've made a mistake.

The next problem I have with this blurb is love the ones who treat you right and forget about those who don't. Now, I'm a Christian and I was taught pretty much the opposite. Love your enemies is what the good book says. That's easy, right? NOT! But we are admonished to love our enemies. Why? Well, a lot of preaching can go into that question. Suffice it to say, we are not let off the hook to just love the ones who love us. I admit, that's one of the most radical teachings of Jesus of Nazareth, and maybe the most ignored.

The Old Testament says "Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD." (Leviticus 19:18, NIV). Jesus took that to a new level In the Sermon on the Mount, he said:

"You have heard that it was said, `Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matthew 5:43-48, NIV)


Okay, the next sentence "Believe everything happens for a reason" really chaps my hide. Not only do I not agree with this platitude but I believe it can be harmful. Those words offer us a way to avoid genuine discomfort and confusion. Not that I'm attacking people that use and believe in that phrase; it's used to try to comfort and offer support. I actually am a very optimistic, hopeful individual, but uttering such platitudes as "every cloud has a silver lining" or "everything happens for a reason" don't do anything for me and actually can block the needed healing during a traumatic situation. For example, if someone attacks me physically or verbally, does it help me to believe that it happened for a reason? Doesn't really help. Bad things happen. Sometimes there is a reason. Sometimes there is no reason. I'm cool with that. Either way, I'm gonna be busy trying to repair the damage and move on with my healing and with my learning. Another example: what if I attack someone else, or reject someone else? Or didn't support someone? Did that happen for a reason?

'Second chance. Grab it.' Okay. Got it. Can't really dispute this statement. But it does imply

"If it changes your life, let it." I take it this means, if the second chance changes your life, let it. That's easier said than done, because that's actually what life is all about . . . growing and changing. Some of us grow into patience, humility and wisdom. Others grow more paranoid, vengeful and self-doubting. What makes the difference between the two? What makes some folks change for the positive and others go negative? I'm not sure, really. I don't have the answer for everything and I don't believe that saying "everything happens for a reason" really helps most situations. Saying "let it change your life" is like saying "take a deep breath." It's a platitude so fundamental, most times it doesn't need to be said.

After all, "Nobody said life would be easy."

Let's prepare ourselves for understanding some of the harder truths in life. It's cute when a toddler or a child believes in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. Those myths suffice until they grow up and are ready for the complicated truths of the real world. Let's not keep ourselves or our children away from the real truths by perpetuating these platitudes.