All that things that happen in people lives to pull them together and split them apart.
Million little events, coincidences, outside forces.
I realize that my mom's breakdown when I was 19 was my opening to be strong. My husband's strength and accomplishments scared me and were my opening to breakdown.
I have to keep on this thread of self-awareness, it's leading to a breakthrough, I can feel it coming.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Hero of our own narrative
Is it true that we're always a hero in our own narrative? Not exactly. Sometimes, we fail the hero test and we're the bastard in our own narrative. Being the bastard in our own narrative is not a good place to be but it may be a true place. Shame [ and repentance become ] is the gateway to grace, as Blayne said in The Unit. Recovering from the shame so that we can rise from our cowardice and wounds to fight another day is the important measure of living out the narrative.
I've been the hero of my family, and my family didn't have enough sense to recognize my heroism, and so I didn't recognize my own qualities. I've been the turd of my family, too, and boy, my family didn't fail to recogize that, so I was made supremely aware of my turdishness. Boo hoo.
So which do I dwell on? I guess I get to choose. Both are in the past now. I can learn from both and I can be a better person. I can never take back those failings. I can face them and embrace my humanity and try for forgiveness.
I can become the human in my own narrative.
Part of the problem is we all live and believe our own hero narrative, from the cruelest dictator to the most generous philanthropist. We cling to the hero in ourselves, even while living immoral and debauched lives, probably. Probably. Definitely. Without the hero, we can't stand being the bastard. I think. Everything is too complicated. Without the feeling of being adored and loved, how can we live with being kicked around.
Being the hero allows us to accept the adoration. Otherwise, it's hard to accept the love. So all hail the hero.
I've beengetting high on taking bee pollen and royal jelly for the last few days. It makes me feel wonderful, energetic, not hungry and at peace.
I've been the hero of my family, and my family didn't have enough sense to recognize my heroism, and so I didn't recognize my own qualities. I've been the turd of my family, too, and boy, my family didn't fail to recogize that, so I was made supremely aware of my turdishness. Boo hoo.
So which do I dwell on? I guess I get to choose. Both are in the past now. I can learn from both and I can be a better person. I can never take back those failings. I can face them and embrace my humanity and try for forgiveness.
I can become the human in my own narrative.
Part of the problem is we all live and believe our own hero narrative, from the cruelest dictator to the most generous philanthropist. We cling to the hero in ourselves, even while living immoral and debauched lives, probably. Probably. Definitely. Without the hero, we can't stand being the bastard. I think. Everything is too complicated. Without the feeling of being adored and loved, how can we live with being kicked around.
Being the hero allows us to accept the adoration. Otherwise, it's hard to accept the love. So all hail the hero.
I've been
Attaching to a community and crafting a community vision
Communities attach people through it's sense of openness and welcome to residents and outsiders. Beauty in the parks and meeting places make a community something the residents can take pride in and enjoy bringing visitors to. Yet, what happens when young people don't feel attached that way? What happens when outsiders become insiders and don't really care about keeping the community "nice"?
Crafting a community vision must include plans for those issues that attach people to their community. The aesthetics of both the Imperial Marketplace and the Market Creek Plaza offer great attachment value, which was a big element of allowing the big box Home Depot and the 24 Hour Fitness into the community. Those nice looking retail outlets didn't solve all the ills, but it works well the character of the community as it has grown over the last 40 years.
http://www.bigboxevaluator.org/e-design.php
Crafting a community vision must include plans for those issues that attach people to their community. The aesthetics of both the Imperial Marketplace and the Market Creek Plaza offer great attachment value, which was a big element of allowing the big box Home Depot and the 24 Hour Fitness into the community. Those nice looking retail outlets didn't solve all the ills, but it works well the character of the community as it has grown over the last 40 years.
http://www.bigboxevaluator.org/e-design.php
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Fighting for the soul of our community and maybe country
Yesterday, I wrote about organizing principles, esp. with regard to community. I realize I'm realizing how now is a time of struggle, not for civil rights per se, but the bigger struggle is for the soul of our community and maybe our country. A community needs a soul, Pope John Paul said, if it is to become a true home for human beings. "You, the people must give it this soul." How do we do that?
Today, I ran across a saying (Thuto Ke Thebe, motto of University of Botswana in the Setswana language "Education is a shield.") and learned the word botho. I looked it up on Google and found a lot of worthwhile info, esp. the following. I already knew a bit about Botswana, but I came away with a very great admiration of this country and the progress it has made to turn it's economy and society.
The word 'Botho' is derived from Tswana, the national language of Botswana. Botho is Botswana's fifth National Principle and it defines a process of earning respect by first giving it, and to gain empowerment by empowering others. The Botswana people use the term botho to describe a person who has a well-rounded character, who is well-mannered, courteous and disciplined, and realises his or her full potential both as an individual and as a part of the community to which he or she belongs. Botho is an example of a social contract of mutual respect, responsibility and accountability that members of society have toward each other and defines a process for earning respect by first giving it, and to gain empowerment by empowering others.
http://www.ubotho.net/Botho-Vision2016
Below are a few examples of Botho that will be highly appreciated by the locals ...
Morero (Consultation and Consensus Building) : The Batswana believe in consulting each other, within families, between people, and at government levels. This is called morero, and is an important way of reaching agreements. Even the President regularly travels all through the country to meet people and consult with them about government programs or issues that concern the people. Even though this takes up a lot of time, it creates much good feeling.
http://www.kidcyber.com.au/topics/botswanpeop2.htm
Botho (Humanity)
Setswana society expects and requires its members to have "botho", which is derived from "motho" (a human being). Botho refers to the possession of the good attributes associated with a good human being, in other words, qualifying one to be called a human being.
Any person, regardless of his/her social standing, who is found wanting in any of those positive attributes that constitute a motho, is regarded as having 'no botho'.
The yardstick for botho is a package of positive human attributes, including good-manners (maitseo), kindness, compassion, humility, respect, and living up to the expectations of society and one's particular role.
In short, botho can be referred to as a yardstick for good behaviour which is consistent with the expectations and cultural norms of Setswana society. That code of behaviour includes good manners, helpfulness, politeness, humility and consideration for others, respect for older people and many more positive attributes expected of a human being.
Morero (Consultation and Consensus Building)
Batswana strongly believe in the value of consultations within society. The process of morero (consultation) at inter-personal, family, and community levels is considered an invaluable asset in the ability to reach and sustain agreements.
At the national level, public service officials and politicians, including the President, regularly travel throughout the country to consult ordinary citizens on various government programmes and other issues of national or local concern. In this way, most citizens do not feel left out of the decision-making process of their country.
Failure to consult tends to generate negative responses since people interpret it as an indirect statement that either they do not matter, are inferior, or in the case of the family unit, not significant enough to be worth consulting. Although consultations tend to be time consuming, the consensus they bring about creates a lot of harmony both within familie
s and in society as a whole. The modern system of government in Botswana has benefited greatly from this culture of morero.
http://www.botswanaembassy.or.jp/culture/body3.html
A framework for a long term vision for Botswana
Botswana Presidential Task Group
Botswana's Vision 2016 began in August 1996 with a nine person Presidential Task Group. These capable individuals produced a booklet entitled "A Framework for a Long Term Vision for Botswana". The Vision 2016 is available on Botswana's national website, and it is briefly presented below with its underlying principles.
Botswana National Vision 2016
Botswana will be an educated and informed nation. All people will be able to have good quality education that is adapted to the needs of the country. Schooling will be universal and compulsory to the secondary level. Good quality vocational and technical training will be available at secondary level and beyond as an alternative to academic study. Entrepreneurship and business skills will be an integral part of all schooling. No student will be disadvantaged by ethnic origin, gender, language or remoteness of settlement. Botswana will be in the forefront of information technology with state of the art computer and communications equipment, and will play a full part in the coming information age. All people will have access to telephones, national newspapers, radio and television services, and to computer equipment. Information about the operations of Government or other organisations will be freely available to all citizens.
By the year 2016, Botswana will be a prosperous, productive and innovative nation. Batswana will be a hard working and disciplined people with a diversified economy. Agriculture, industry, mining and services will be productive and vital components of economic activity.
Batswana's development will be sustainable, and will take account of the preservation of the environment and renewable resources. Incomes in Botswana will have been raised closer to those in developed nations. All Batswana. male and female will have the opportunity of paid employment, access to good quality housing, as well as increased resource ownership.
By the year 2016, Botswana will be a compassionate and caring nation. Income will be distributed equitably. Poverty will have been eradicated, and there will be an efficient social safety net for those who suffer misfortune. All Batswana will have access to good quality health services, sanitation and nutrition. The negative impact of the AIDS epidemic in Botswana will have been halted and reversed.
By the year 2016, Botswana will be a safe and secure nation. Violent crime will have been eliminated, and there will be full protection of individual rights. Batswana will have confidence in law enforcement agencies, and standards of road safety will be high. The people and borders of Botswana will be protected by a small, disciplined and accountable national defense force.
By the year 2016, Botswana will be an open, democratic and accountable nation. There will be a system of decentralized democracy and political tolerance. Civil society will play a full part in the development of the country, alongside government. The nation's leaders will be open and accountable to the people. The role of traditional leaders will have been enhanced. Freedom of expression as well as press freedom will be fully protected.
By the year 2016, Botswana will be a moral and tolerant nation. There will be high standards of personal morality, and tolerant social attitudes towards people of different cultures, ethnic traditions, religions or disabilities.
By the year 2016, Botswana will be a united and proud nation, sharing common ideals, goals and symbols. Society will be under-pinned by resilient family values with a strong sense of tradition and pride in its history.
* The word Batswana refers to the people of Botswana
http://issacandimani.com/gpage1.html
http://www.sarpn.org/documents/d0002170/index.php
Today, I ran across a saying (Thuto Ke Thebe, motto of University of Botswana in the Setswana language "Education is a shield.") and learned the word botho. I looked it up on Google and found a lot of worthwhile info, esp. the following. I already knew a bit about Botswana, but I came away with a very great admiration of this country and the progress it has made to turn it's economy and society.
The word 'Botho' is derived from Tswana, the national language of Botswana. Botho is Botswana's fifth National Principle and it defines a process of earning respect by first giving it, and to gain empowerment by empowering others. The Botswana people use the term botho to describe a person who has a well-rounded character, who is well-mannered, courteous and disciplined, and realises his or her full potential both as an individual and as a part of the community to which he or she belongs. Botho is an example of a social contract of mutual respect, responsibility and accountability that members of society have toward each other and defines a process for earning respect by first giving it, and to gain empowerment by empowering others.
http://www.ubotho.net/Botho-Vision2016
Below are a few examples of Botho that will be highly appreciated by the locals ...
- Taking your hat or cap off when speaking to an elder - sign of respect
- When an elder is in need of seat and none are vacant, it is botho to offer the elder your seat...
- When entering a house or any building (especially government buildings) taking your hat or cap off (men) is a sign of Botho..
- Greeting before beginning a conversation or asking for something/help...is a sign of politeness
Morero (Consultation and Consensus Building) : The Batswana believe in consulting each other, within families, between people, and at government levels. This is called morero, and is an important way of reaching agreements. Even the President regularly travels all through the country to meet people and consult with them about government programs or issues that concern the people. Even though this takes up a lot of time, it creates much good feeling.
http://www.kidcyber.com.au/topics/botswanpeop2.htm
Setswana society expects and requires its members to have "botho", which is derived from "motho" (a human being). Botho refers to the possession of the good attributes associated with a good human being, in other words, qualifying one to be called a human being.
Any person, regardless of his/her social standing, who is found wanting in any of those positive attributes that constitute a motho, is regarded as having 'no botho'.
The yardstick for botho is a package of positive human attributes, including good-manners (maitseo), kindness, compassion, humility, respect, and living up to the expectations of society and one's particular role.
In short, botho can be referred to as a yardstick for good behaviour which is consistent with the expectations and cultural norms of Setswana society. That code of behaviour includes good manners, helpfulness, politeness, humility and consideration for others, respect for older people and many more positive attributes expected of a human being.
Morero (Consultation and Consensus Building)
Batswana strongly believe in the value of consultations within society. The process of morero (consultation) at inter-personal, family, and community levels is considered an invaluable asset in the ability to reach and sustain agreements.
At the national level, public service officials and politicians, including the President, regularly travel throughout the country to consult ordinary citizens on various government programmes and other issues of national or local concern. In this way, most citizens do not feel left out of the decision-making process of their country.
Failure to consult tends to generate negative responses since people interpret it as an indirect statement that either they do not matter, are inferior, or in the case of the family unit, not significant enough to be worth consulting. Although consultations tend to be time consuming, the consensus they bring about creates a lot of harmony both within familie
s and in society as a whole. The modern system of government in Botswana has benefited greatly from this culture of morero.
http://www.botswanaembassy.or.jp/culture/body3.html
A framework for a long term vision for Botswana
Botswana Presidential Task Group
Botswana's Vision 2016 began in August 1996 with a nine person Presidential Task Group. These capable individuals produced a booklet entitled "A Framework for a Long Term Vision for Botswana". The Vision 2016 is available on Botswana's national website, and it is briefly presented below with its underlying principles.
Botswana will be an educated and informed nation. All people will be able to have good quality education that is adapted to the needs of the country. Schooling will be universal and compulsory to the secondary level. Good quality vocational and technical training will be available at secondary level and beyond as an alternative to academic study. Entrepreneurship and business skills will be an integral part of all schooling. No student will be disadvantaged by ethnic origin, gender, language or remoteness of settlement. Botswana will be in the forefront of information technology with state of the art computer and communications equipment, and will play a full part in the coming information age. All people will have access to telephones, national newspapers, radio and television services, and to computer equipment. Information about the operations of Government or other organisations will be freely available to all citizens.
By the year 2016, Botswana will be a prosperous, productive and innovative nation. Batswana will be a hard working and disciplined people with a diversified economy. Agriculture, industry, mining and services will be productive and vital components of economic activity.
Batswana's development will be sustainable, and will take account of the preservation of the environment and renewable resources. Incomes in Botswana will have been raised closer to those in developed nations. All Batswana. male and female will have the opportunity of paid employment, access to good quality housing, as well as increased resource ownership.
By the year 2016, Botswana will be a compassionate and caring nation. Income will be distributed equitably. Poverty will have been eradicated, and there will be an efficient social safety net for those who suffer misfortune. All Batswana will have access to good quality health services, sanitation and nutrition. The negative impact of the AIDS epidemic in Botswana will have been halted and reversed.
By the year 2016, Botswana will be a safe and secure nation. Violent crime will have been eliminated, and there will be full protection of individual rights. Batswana will have confidence in law enforcement agencies, and standards of road safety will be high. The people and borders of Botswana will be protected by a small, disciplined and accountable national defense force.
By the year 2016, Botswana will be an open, democratic and accountable nation. There will be a system of decentralized democracy and political tolerance. Civil society will play a full part in the development of the country, alongside government. The nation's leaders will be open and accountable to the people. The role of traditional leaders will have been enhanced. Freedom of expression as well as press freedom will be fully protected.
By the year 2016, Botswana will be a moral and tolerant nation. There will be high standards of personal morality, and tolerant social attitudes towards people of different cultures, ethnic traditions, religions or disabilities.
By the year 2016, Botswana will be a united and proud nation, sharing common ideals, goals and symbols. Society will be under-pinned by resilient family values with a strong sense of tradition and pride in its history.
* The word Batswana refers to the people of Botswana
http://issacandimani.com/gpage1.html
http://www.sarpn.org/documents/d0002170/index.php
Monday, January 30, 2012
Organizing principles
Trying to understand how to think about community renewal and redevelopment, especially as related to a formerly blighted community. My perspective is as a resident since 1966 yet I want to be able to expand into a broader perspective. Since many community ills have been identified, I am choosing a healing perspective as my organizing principle. This is problemmatic inasmuch as no one else seems to share this perspective, making it more difficult for me to share ideas with other community members. Therefore, in discussions around community development, I am choosing to raise awareness of the healing perspective first, and then make my points about the community with healing as the central principle.
As long as the organizing principle of the greater society is not about healing, there seems like there will be an inherent conflict. If modern society's organizing principle is consumption, everything that does not advocate consumption will seem to be a failure. Since I consciously reject the principle of consumption as supreme, I have to become aware of others' organizing principle.
In order to have constructive communication about most topics, but especially about community, it's important that I make others aware that I choose the path of health and healing and cooperation versus competition.
As long as the organizing principle of the greater society is not about healing, there seems like there will be an inherent conflict. If modern society's organizing principle is consumption, everything that does not advocate consumption will seem to be a failure. Since I consciously reject the principle of consumption as supreme, I have to become aware of others' organizing principle.
In order to have constructive communication about most topics, but especially about community, it's important that I make others aware that I choose the path of health and healing and cooperation versus competition.
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